Navigating Workaholism: A Founder’s Journey Through Anxiety, Love, and Workaholic Founder Burnout
My dear old dad and I
My workaholism has been getting the better of me recently. It wasn’t until this past weekend that I could finally give words to the dark mass of feeling within me — and it had nothing to do with work.
My anxious drive to move quickly, smash a bunch of meetings, and get more done has always been a shadow of mine. If you’re reading this, you probably can relate — especially if you’ve ever felt the creeping signs of workaholic founder burnout while chasing your goals.
Why do I have to dart around my apartment while I work from home, with the feeling that there’s more I must always do? Why is it that when I wrap up my to-do list, I get a brief moment of satisfaction before my productivity gears in my head start turning again? These are classic thoughts that bubble up during workaholic founder burnout — that sense that no matter what you accomplish, it’s never enough.
As I spoke about it to my inner circle of friends this weekend, I felt my heart ache. Wrapped at the base of my anxiety is a deep fear: the fear of my dad’s death.
Specifically, the fear of my father passing without ever having grandchildren.
This fear has its tendrils wrapped around my every move and thought. It drives me with the idea that if I get more done and advance my career faster, then I’ll be on the swifter path to having kids and supporting a family. In moments like that, I can see how workaholic founder burnout isn’t just about working too much — it’s about trying to soothe something deeper.
I sobbed as I spoke the words. I sobbed with relief.
Because the moment I said them, I realized that the good intentions behind my anxiety weren’t going to soothe the pain.
Later that day, I FaceTimed my dad. We talked about little things. I asked him for advice on our house, and I let the current of connection flow between us with no agenda.
I hung up that call and cried with sadness — and also with a deep sense of satisfaction: this is the salve for my wound. Working won’t bring me closer to my parents. I want to make the space and time to connect with them while they’re still alive.
Work is a placeholder for many of our wounds. If work has become a compulsion for you, and if you’ve felt the exhaustion that comes with workaholic founder burnout, I challenge you to look and feel more deeply into what your anxiety is trying to do for you.
Start with your deepest longings. What’s the first thing you think of when I ask you:
What do you secretly want more than anything right now?
If you don’t have an answer, that’s even more revealing. What’s the risk of knowing this question? Is it scary to feel the pain of your desire?
Sometimes our greatest pain is merely a doorway to our greatest longing. And once we know what we long for, then we can set our productive, hard-working spirits in the right direction.
You must approach your heightened work drive with compassion. It has good intentions behind the suffering that it can cause you. It’s trying to take care of you by attempting to block pain. That realization alone can begin to soften the edges of workaholic founder burnout.
Once you approach it with empathy, then you can shift your relationship with your work drive from one of malice to partnership. You can begin to ask yourself, “How can I use my ambitious energy to support my life, not work against it?”
It’s only with clarity that we can be ambitious achievers — but in the most aligned way. And often, that clarity begins on the other side of workaholic founder burnout — when we finally pause long enough to feel what’s underneath.
If you’re battling to find balance, clarity, and inner peace, I’d love to talk to you. I’m a leadership coach for founders and executives who want to execute and live full lives — without losing themselves to workaholic founder burnout.
You can check out my coaching offerings. If you book a consult, I’m happy to chat more.
❤️ Tracy